It sounds bad to say this but I've had a few BFF in my life. And the worse part - those BFF's... well at various points things have gone there separate ways. Granted not all of it was a bad break with I hate yous and name calling (but there were a few). A lot of it just happened because of time or growing up or people changing or a combination of all three.
Take my best friend from high school - A - for instance. A and I were pretty inseparable, she lived right behind me, we rode the same bus, went to the same school... you get the drift. But then I graduated and went to college and she was two years behind. It just happened. I stopped coming home as much. She couldn't relate to college and I couldn't relate to high school. It wasn't a bad break - we just slowly stopped talking.
On the other hand, there was KC. We were BFF from kindergarten. She also lived in my neighborhood. Also rode my bus. She and I were always over each others houses. I had the big playroom and she would tell me secrets about boys (she had two older brothers). In middle school, KC met a new group of friends. If you've ever seen the movie Mean Girls - that pretty much sums up that group. KC and I also hung out with a third girl. The Mean Girls basically said and KC backed them up - we could only hang out if we ditched the third girl. That didn't seem very nice and I told her so... You can imagine how that went.
And most recently, there was CC. CC and I were college roommates. I think from the moment we met there was a bond. People in college joked if you found one of us, you'd find the other. Let's just say we had a falling out and I apologized for my part in it but when I asked for an apology from her... I haven't heard back.
The thing is, CC's break-up is the freshest. And it sounds strange to say because I was so angry a few months ago (and there are a lot of times when I don't see eye to eye on all of CC's actions) but I miss her. It's a lot like breaking up with a BF. You're with each other 90% of the time and then all of a sudden - you aren't. You always go through this period of - we may get back together - should I call him - he's a jerk... And it's the same with friends. This part of my heart is a bit battered, lonely and missing that other person that knows you so well you can just glance at each other and say volumes. I've debated reaching out to her but I know some other friends and the husband would probably think I'm crazy. And the truth is she hasn't reached out to me since I apologized.... so maybe she doesn't want to be friends. But maybe she's sitting at home missing me too and we're just too stubborn to admit it.
The thing with break-ups is - at some point you have to decide to either let them go or dive back in. With and A and KC, I never dove back in. With A, we've traded a few emails sporadically and the occasional FB (aka Facebook) reach out but that's been it. We live in different states so it might as well be college and high school all over again. And KC, I don't know whatever happened to her. I haven't even gotten that random FB friend request. But CC, it hasn't been that long that I couldn't reach out and say hi and at least be friendly if not friends. But just like a break-up, you have to try to remember why you broke up to begin with. Was their crime so heinous you can't be friends. Or was it a minor offense? At this point... I'm not sure.
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