Get me to the church on time...

So on the way home I caught a radio host chatting about how Jennifer Love Hewitt has apparently pre-selected her engagement ring. Since I haven't followed her since Party of Five and even then followed her would be complaining about her annoying character... I had to Google search the story. Read here. I guess this was big news because I saw it later on Tyler Durden and Perez but I skim both if it's about celebrities I don't really care about so I missed it... If you don't want to read - the jist is she went to Tiffany's and picked out three engagement rings for her future hubby-to-be to select from. (note: article doesn't say Tiffany's but the radio did and I can't see the girl driving to the mall and going to Kay... so let's just go with it).

The radio was taking call-ins about it and if it hadn't been snowing like crazy I probably would have called up... in any case - I have the blog.

You have to hand it to her - she has a point. She knows what she wants and she's not afraid to ask for it. And to be honest, what girl hasn't dropped hints about her dream ring. I gushed about Cushion and Asscher cut diamonds for years before I got engaged. I even went as far as to say I didn't want typical solitare - something different but with a classic updated antique look. Let's just say K paid attention. And to be honest no girl wants to get stuck with a dreadful heart cut diamond (sorry but they are the worse). And if all you wear is white gold you don't want yellow gold. So you need to drop a few hints. But there's a difference between hints and downright demanding. The thing is picking out three rings and then announcing to the world that's what you did just screams high-maintenance bitch and desperate.

I'm almost thirty (yikes - and by almost I have a few years ... let's just say I have over a year), so I've been around the block when it comes to weddings. I've been married almost three years (time flies), I've been with my husband a decade (even scarier) and I've had my share of friends tie the knot... or almost get there. I think JLH is missing the point of a relationship. It's not about the ring. It's not even about that one crazy special day. Or the dress. Or the presents... Or basically any of the nonsense that leads up to the wedding.

It's about what that day means. You're starting a life together and it doesn't matter if the ring came from Target or Tiffany's, if you got married in a barn or a $500 a plate country club. I say all the time one of the hands down most gorgeous dresses I've seen on a bride was a $99 David's Bridal number (actually in my head she's been my wedding standard for absolutely stunning overall look). You can snub you nose at it and flick through bridal magazines in hopes of that $10,000 dress that will give you the body of a model but when it comes down to it - it's not what you pay or how you celebrate. It's what goes forth after all the congratulations has died down.

Maybe the world has JLH wrong, maybe she does really want love. But throwing yourself to the media wolves isn't helping your case. It totally feeds into all the wedding shows on TV - bitchy brides, harrassed bridesmaids, over-the-top parties.... I want to yell at all of them. It's one day. You'll wear that dress for a few hours. No one will remember in a year that you had some fancy-smancy hor d'eouvre that costs $20 a piece. Your friends aren't comparing you to anyone else (well I might be sizing up your dress choices but ugly dresses come in all price points ladies). And to tell the truth for all the build up - it flies by. Every minute is a blink of the eye and by that point you're so ready to just be done with all the planning, you simply forget some of what happened. I couldn't tell you what songs played at the reception. If I think about it I might be able to tell you what we ate. It's not worth working yourself up over it or trying to compete with the magazines. Lord knows I'm a magazine guru but even I know that they're designed to sell merchandise and bridal mags are no exception. They're in the business to push over the top weddings and receptions, expensive dresses, and expensive rings.

Take a step back and just think - is this important when it's all over? Honestly, it's not. (Note: I'm not saying your wedding and ring should look like you got it at the Dollar Store ... I'm just saying get some perspective). Don't demand a certain ring - it's tacky. The ring should be something he picks for you because he knows you'll love it - not because he's afraid you'll say no unless it's a flawless Princess cut diamond. Don't get so caught up in wedding plans - like making sure your flowers are absolutely exactly what you want, that you loose site of the fact it's a ceremony to mark the start of something hopefully wonderful. If you focus on why you're getting married and not on the material things your prospective changes - I think for the better.

And a note on the flowers: I had said I wanted all shades of purples - ranging from blue-purple to light purple to dark purple with my flowers having a few pink roses (my fav rose). I also said something natural - like it had just come from a garden. Well let's just say the flowers weren't all shades of purple, there were blues and pinks and greens and I think white in all the bouquets... but they did look like they had stepped out of a garden (I said I wanted up-scale garden party as the "theme" - low-key but nice)... and they were absolutely gorgeous. Sometimes you just have to leave it to the pros and just relax. That is my number one advice for all prospective and future brides. Stop stressing over what you have to have for your wedding and just go with it. And don't read those stupid to-do list or they'll have you running around like a chicken with your head cut off. Ask your mom or a friend whose been there and done that and the rest will fall into place... and if it doesn't - no one will ever know.

So what do you think? Would you pick out rings for your groom-to-be?

A Little Inspiration To Keep Working Out...

She looks amazing. If I can look half that good by June than I'll be impressed with myself.

Resolutions... Errr A Challenge

I don’t do resolutions. The few times I’ve tried I break them. I make it a few weeks doing something crazy like eating only carrots or exercising three hours a day and then I crack and go on a chips and salsa/pizza binge and don’t see a treadmill for months. Not healthy. I’m not good at people telling me what to do. I can’t do crazy diets or exercise plans because I get bored, don’t see results or can’t see the point in limiting my dairy intake when it’s my most favorite thing in the world. (I could live on cheese and milk.)

This year, I’ve decided to try something new. A resolution of sorts – if you will. I’ve made it a competition with myself to see if I can get in amazing shape by the end of the year. (I’m almost 30 – it’s now or never.) I’ve even decided I want Jennifer Aniston’s body – toned but not crazy muscular or skinny. I used to want Britney Spears’ abs circa the MTV performance with the snake… but that’s unrealistic because a. I don’t have five hours a day to do abs workouts and b. I can’t eat just celery for the next 12 months. So Jennifer is a stretch but not completely out in left field. I could probably even pick someone more realistic like Mariah Carey when she’s skinny but let’s be honest – it should be a challenge not I can eat cake and wine all year and still look ok.

I’m good at competitions though. I turn into Monica on Friends. (A crazy psycho intent on winning.) Who I’m beating – I’m not exactly sure but in my mind all those other people at the gym are my competitors. So is the scale. Every half pound it moves down is a tiny victory. And every extra sit up is like a tiny award with a bunch of clapping. And the other day when my lungs burned and my legs ached on the treadmill, I thought to myself, shut that magazine and keep running. One more minute, then you can die…. Or at least walk and read a page of Glamour.

The one thing I’ve learned in the short week of gym visits at least once a day (I only missed 2 days since New Year’s – well technically 4 but I stayed longer the next 2 days to make it up so that does not even count…) is you have to do what works for you. I could never be that girl that runs mindlessly on the treadmill rocking out to a blasting iPod. I can’t run for hours on end. I’d die of utter boredom before my legs even gave out. I have to mix it up (and actually a friend who’s a bit of a fitness guru said interval training is the way to go). So I’ve been alternating between yoga, pilates, spin class, the bike, the treadmill and now I’m incorporating some weights. And it’s not get on the bike and pedal away like a 9 year old going around the block. I’m constantly changing my speed and incline (well incline on the treadmill). It makes it different and a little fun. Even better I let myself read during the cool down and warm up. Nothing better to motivate you than a magazine full of skinny models in fabulous clothes.

As for diet… well diet isn’t in my vocab. I can’t say no chocolate (well I could because I don’t really like chocolate) but you get the idea…. The second I say no, it’s like I have a bad case of OCD and all I can think about is eating whatever it is I’ve told myself I can’t have. So it’s everything in moderation and amping up fruits and veggies. And I’m going for more fresh. Now don’t get me wrong – I haven’t turned into one of those people that corner you and spout off about transfats and the joy of going all organic. Augh. I read the label but I’m not obsessing. And as for organic – great in theory but terrible for my wallet considering it costs twice as much as real food. I’ll just wash my vegetables and fruits and hope for the best and do organic when I can and it makes sense (Kashi is amazing). Take out and frozen/canned food is easy but not healthy. So I can have it once in awhile but no more binging on Ramen like a drunk (broke) college kid more than once a week. Maybe even once a month if I can really get motivated. I’m actually a little bit excited about all these fun recipes I can try. My friend Roe and I joke about writing a cookbook – so far I have the bread section but maybe I’ll add a healthy eating/low cal section…

So we’ll see how I do come June… or even March. But I’m excited and I think that’s key. I’ll try to keep you posted of the good, the bad and everything in between.

It's all turning grey...

This year has been a series of ups and downs. I think most years are like that. I can think of only a few where all good things happen. But mostly they are tinged with things like oh that was the year my dog died, or that my grandfather died... Even years that were good, like the year we got engaged is also marred with it being the year I got in an accident and totaled his car. So of all the good and the bad - most I'm not mentioning on here... One of the minor things was this is the year I got my first grey hair. This was made equally bad that a month or so later a twin grey hair popped up directly across from it's sibling. Not to mention, they both were smack dab in the middle of my head.

Now I take a certain pride in the fact that I don't color my hair. Everyone colors their hair and aside from a perm back in the 80's and two dye jobs (the 2nd to correct a late night bored college Wednesday) my hair is treatment free. I've never found a color (aside from C's auburn hue) that I like more than my dark brown. It's natural highlights of red and blond are prettier than anything that I've been able to achieve from a bottle. Besides do you know what kind of upkeep it takes to dye dark colored hair? I felt like roots were instantaneous.

The problem is grey hair threatens my dye free hair. And starts to beckon in a time where I'll spend hours and money trying to achieve the color I was born with and that is quickly slipping away. I guess it could be worse my whole head could be turning grey. But these two grey hairs bug me. I was drying my hair this morning and the one popped up (they are always short for some reason as if aside from being grey that can't grow in straight and long like the rest of my hair but instead have a slight curl to them and grow no more than 5 inches before stopping there like a tiny grey string). It seems to glisten in the mirror, waving slightly, like remember me? Did you forget I was still here? If I'm feeling particular angry about it or just sick of having to change up my part - I take a bottle of mascara - rub it between my fingers and attack the two strands until they are a nice shade of black (and plump too).

The thing with grey hair means I'm getting older. It's only a matter of time that I stop getting carded at bars or people start calling me ma'am in places other than the south where everyone over the age of five is a ma'am. Grey hair seemed to signify - remember you're not quite as young as you'd like to continue to believe you are. And I feel adulthood quickly sucking up any remainder of time I can call myself a young adult. So while I can't do much to ward off future grey hair (maybe keep my stress levels down - I don't know?) - I've decided to be more aggressive with my other anti-aging routines for the new year. Starting next week (because there's nothing better than procrastinating), I'm going to remember to slather my face and neck and hands twice a day (instead of once when I'm not too tired or too late) with all the anti-aging treatments I had to have last month. And the grey hairs - luckily I read something about metallic extensions being in - maybe instead of gold I'll say mine are silver? :)