I've been wanting to write this post for awhile. It's one of those ideas that keeps coming back to me but I don't know how to start it. So I'll start from the beginning.
A few weeks ago on the way home Cocktails with Patrick had a guest on who had just wrote a book about "thrisis" (I hope I'm spelling that write). Basically a mid-life crisis in your thirties. Before that I had heard a lot of talk about a quarter life crisis (a mid-life crisis in your twenties). Sure the author had good points. That it's hard to meet people. That all your friends are at different stages. You have huge life decisions to make - babies, jobs, etc. And granted, I haven't read her book or any book on a quarter life crisis, but the more I've thought about it - I want to know is it real? Or are these some made up crises that just explain how people feel at various points throughout their lives?
When I first set out to talk about this topic - I thought I'd agree with the lady on the radio a 100%. Who doesn't have doubts about their career? Where they see themselves in 10 years? I listened to her talk and thought - I've felt like that - shit, maybe I'm having a thrisis early or a quarter life crisis late...
But then as the weeks slipped by, I started to think. Maybe it's not something new. Maybe it's just something that happens pretty regularly and now someone has thought to slap a fancy new name on it to sell a bunch of books.
Think back to any major turning point in your life - going to high school, starting college, graduating college, having kids (well I don't have kids yet but I'm sure it's a big event)... all that stuff is bound to cause other feelings to come up. Things like - am I making the right decision, am I going to meet new people, what about my old friends, what about my relationship with my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife? Your life is changing for better or worse, of course you'll have doubts.
I remember going to college. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to go. Then I got there and suddenly it was this big scary new world. I remember thinking that this wasn't really what I wanted. It wasn't comfortable. I didn't know anyone. I didn't know what I wanted to do. Was it a crisis? I'm not sure. I don't think so. I think it was just a time for me to examine what I wanted out of life, put on my big girl panties and make some decisions.
So do I believe in all these so-called crises? The more I think about it - no. It's just two things - 1 a way to describe how you feel about any big change or lack of change maybe in your life. Those thoughts that float around saying - I thought I'd have three kids by thirty, I thought I'd be a boss at thirty, I thought I'd have a x by forty, etc. Everyone has doubts and concerns about how their life is going. It's normal. 2. It's a way to justify your behavior. I bought a sports car because that's what a person having a mid-life crisis does. Man up to your behavior. If you do something irresponsible, reckless or impulsive - you did it because deep down you wanted to and now you're looking for someway to blame it elsewhere.
What do you think? Is a thrisis real?
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