Get me to the church on time...

So on the way home I caught a radio host chatting about how Jennifer Love Hewitt has apparently pre-selected her engagement ring. Since I haven't followed her since Party of Five and even then followed her would be complaining about her annoying character... I had to Google search the story. Read here. I guess this was big news because I saw it later on Tyler Durden and Perez but I skim both if it's about celebrities I don't really care about so I missed it... If you don't want to read - the jist is she went to Tiffany's and picked out three engagement rings for her future hubby-to-be to select from. (note: article doesn't say Tiffany's but the radio did and I can't see the girl driving to the mall and going to Kay... so let's just go with it).

The radio was taking call-ins about it and if it hadn't been snowing like crazy I probably would have called up... in any case - I have the blog.

You have to hand it to her - she has a point. She knows what she wants and she's not afraid to ask for it. And to be honest, what girl hasn't dropped hints about her dream ring. I gushed about Cushion and Asscher cut diamonds for years before I got engaged. I even went as far as to say I didn't want typical solitare - something different but with a classic updated antique look. Let's just say K paid attention. And to be honest no girl wants to get stuck with a dreadful heart cut diamond (sorry but they are the worse). And if all you wear is white gold you don't want yellow gold. So you need to drop a few hints. But there's a difference between hints and downright demanding. The thing is picking out three rings and then announcing to the world that's what you did just screams high-maintenance bitch and desperate.

I'm almost thirty (yikes - and by almost I have a few years ... let's just say I have over a year), so I've been around the block when it comes to weddings. I've been married almost three years (time flies), I've been with my husband a decade (even scarier) and I've had my share of friends tie the knot... or almost get there. I think JLH is missing the point of a relationship. It's not about the ring. It's not even about that one crazy special day. Or the dress. Or the presents... Or basically any of the nonsense that leads up to the wedding.

It's about what that day means. You're starting a life together and it doesn't matter if the ring came from Target or Tiffany's, if you got married in a barn or a $500 a plate country club. I say all the time one of the hands down most gorgeous dresses I've seen on a bride was a $99 David's Bridal number (actually in my head she's been my wedding standard for absolutely stunning overall look). You can snub you nose at it and flick through bridal magazines in hopes of that $10,000 dress that will give you the body of a model but when it comes down to it - it's not what you pay or how you celebrate. It's what goes forth after all the congratulations has died down.

Maybe the world has JLH wrong, maybe she does really want love. But throwing yourself to the media wolves isn't helping your case. It totally feeds into all the wedding shows on TV - bitchy brides, harrassed bridesmaids, over-the-top parties.... I want to yell at all of them. It's one day. You'll wear that dress for a few hours. No one will remember in a year that you had some fancy-smancy hor d'eouvre that costs $20 a piece. Your friends aren't comparing you to anyone else (well I might be sizing up your dress choices but ugly dresses come in all price points ladies). And to tell the truth for all the build up - it flies by. Every minute is a blink of the eye and by that point you're so ready to just be done with all the planning, you simply forget some of what happened. I couldn't tell you what songs played at the reception. If I think about it I might be able to tell you what we ate. It's not worth working yourself up over it or trying to compete with the magazines. Lord knows I'm a magazine guru but even I know that they're designed to sell merchandise and bridal mags are no exception. They're in the business to push over the top weddings and receptions, expensive dresses, and expensive rings.

Take a step back and just think - is this important when it's all over? Honestly, it's not. (Note: I'm not saying your wedding and ring should look like you got it at the Dollar Store ... I'm just saying get some perspective). Don't demand a certain ring - it's tacky. The ring should be something he picks for you because he knows you'll love it - not because he's afraid you'll say no unless it's a flawless Princess cut diamond. Don't get so caught up in wedding plans - like making sure your flowers are absolutely exactly what you want, that you loose site of the fact it's a ceremony to mark the start of something hopefully wonderful. If you focus on why you're getting married and not on the material things your prospective changes - I think for the better.

And a note on the flowers: I had said I wanted all shades of purples - ranging from blue-purple to light purple to dark purple with my flowers having a few pink roses (my fav rose). I also said something natural - like it had just come from a garden. Well let's just say the flowers weren't all shades of purple, there were blues and pinks and greens and I think white in all the bouquets... but they did look like they had stepped out of a garden (I said I wanted up-scale garden party as the "theme" - low-key but nice)... and they were absolutely gorgeous. Sometimes you just have to leave it to the pros and just relax. That is my number one advice for all prospective and future brides. Stop stressing over what you have to have for your wedding and just go with it. And don't read those stupid to-do list or they'll have you running around like a chicken with your head cut off. Ask your mom or a friend whose been there and done that and the rest will fall into place... and if it doesn't - no one will ever know.

So what do you think? Would you pick out rings for your groom-to-be?