So this post is going to be my five things that people are doing that are bugging me right now. Complaining? A bit. But I'll try to make it funny. And if you recognize yourself in any of the five.... well... here's your opportunity to change.
1. "It'll be ok." Thanks Pollyanna.
I've stopped saying thanks to this. It's really annoying. Why? You ask. Unless you have some magic ball I don't know about you don't know it's going to be ok. So thanks for saying that but it's meaningless and in someways comes across as patronizing. Here's a fun fact - sometimes life isn't ok. Sometimes life sucks and bad things happen to good people. Maybe just say, "I'm here for you if you need to talk or to cry. We'll get through this."
2. Endless complaining about stupid-minor-in-the-scheme-of-things problems. Is this self-centered on my part? Yes. I'll admit it. But let's face it when someone has something life changing happening to them they don't need to hear you complain about your cat throwing up a hairball, that your husband didn't load the dishwasher again, your grass seed that won't grow, or the fact you can't find the exact shade of purple nail polish you want. Speaking from my own feelings, I want to punch you in the face and then tell you to get a real problem. You should be thanking God that that's all you are worrying about. I get people like to bitch. I'm bitching now. It feels good. But think about it before you say it. Maybe say it to another friend that is equally as upset that their favorite celeb isn't on Glamour this month. They'll care and can give you support I just don't have patience for right now.
I will say I don't think this is just me. I had a friend lose her dad recently and before it happened I had told her my feelings of blind rage at people's petty problems. She said after her dad died she got it. You don't want to hear mindless complaining. I have enough to worry about and I don't have the time, energy or patience for anything that isn't major. If you need a clarification of major events then you're more self-centered than I am right now. If you decide to ignore this point and complain to me endlessly about x problem don't be surprised when I snap at you. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: If you want to briefly mention your problem and then move on - I'm ok with this. It's the people that harp on petty problems that are driving me bonkers. I don't want to or need to hear ten times that your dog dug up your new flower bed. It's not important.
3. "Think of it this way, if you can't get pregnant, you can get a baby another way and keep your figure." Wow. This has been said to me a few times. Do you really think I'm conceited enough to choose being skinny or having a baby? If this is supposed to make me feel better - try again. I don't think anyone is conceited enough to pick thin over having a baby. It doesn't make me feel better. It makes me want to snap at you and considering my patience level is at all time low - you're taking chances saying this. I would gladly take a few extra pounds and the months of hard work to get rid of it in exchange for everything that mom's get to experience. I get I can have a baby another way. But do you not understand that women are raised on the fact that they will get pregnant? There's a good chance I won't know what it feels like to carry a baby, to feel it kick, to see the ultrasound, to carry it with me for nine months and that is absolutely heartbreaking to me right now. Saying I'll be thin forever isn't some fun consolation prize that makes up for it.
4. People that don't do their job. I can guess how much doctor's make so when I ask you to send my records somewhere or ask you for guidance I expect you to give it. Why? Because that's your job. Don't tell me to Google it then say the Internet is full of misinformation. Don't say it's my decision without giving me all the facts. Don't not send things when you say you will. If I didn't do my job I'd get fired. So I don't want any of you to be shocked when I suddenly stop coming to you and I've found a new doctor that's given me what I ask.
Let me clarify for a moment because a lot of people have said well they don't want to tell you anything because they don't want to get sued. I'm not going to sue you for giving me facts. That's ridiculous. I want information. I want to know so I can make an informed decision. I didn't go to med school. I don't get paid the big bucks. You wanted this job so let's man up and do it.
And last but not least for this post, number...
5. "Why don't you wait a few months and stop rushing?" Why does this make me mad? Because I didn't ask your opinion on what we're doing. Because did it occur to you I don't want to wait? That maybe I've had endless hours to think about what I want and I just want to know what I need to do to get there. I know you're trying to say don't rush into anything and regret it later. But I think there's got to be a better way to say it.
There's a lot I've learned recently but the number one thing is all I really want is someone to talk to that I feel like gets it. That understands the constant ache. That can just listen when I need to cry or to vent. I don't need many words. There aren't any that would make it better. I don't need pity or fear. I can't deal with your fear and my own.
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