Watching Reality TV In Heels...

I love reality TV. It's such a train wreck - how can you not watch? I'm convinced that even the people that turn up their nose and laugh when you say you are obsessed with the Real Housewives secretly are watching Jersey Shore or something equally trashy while all the while proclaiming a love of PBS and classic movies. You can't not watch. It's so deliciously addicting. Like gaining a hidden camera into people's lives. Half the time, I'm open mouthed thinking people can't possibly live like that... oh but they do.

So what's a girl to do on a chilly early spring Tuesday when there's nothing remotely redeeming on TV? I could read a book, or go to the gym (hello - I'm still on the five day a week thing here... I need a break some time), I could call a friend, watch something that would stimulate my brain... or I don't know - see Bravo's latest offering of delightfully mindless dribble. Give you one guess what I picked.... Give up? Bravo. I mean hello, it's Tuesday and unless you're in college shots in a bar with your girls just isn't on the agenda. I'm sorry my life is just a tad boring sometime.

But boy was I glad to have caught some delicious reality TV. First up a Real Housewives of the OC rerun. How can you not love that? Cattiness all around. And then a new show... (let's be honest Bravo has a new reality show out every other week) and no this wasn't a Real Housewives of Oklahoma City/Reno/Austin/Chicago or whatever there next foray will be. It was Pregnant in Heels. Have you seen it?

Here's the basis of the show - pregnant couples in NYC with more money than good sense hire a nice British (aren't all the people on baby shows British? It's like TV execs think Americans are still lovestruck over Mary Poppins and the only people who know how to raise children are from across the pond...) woman to help guide them on this nine month journey into mommy and daddy hood.

This is how Bravo describes it:

"Pregnant in Heels is a docu-drama that follows maternity concierge, fashion designer, and pregnancy guru Rosie Pope as she guides expecting mothers through the joys and perils of preparing to have a baby."

Way to make it sound way more intelligent than it really is Bravo.

Last night's episode featured two extremely wealthy albeit neurotic couples. One who hated babies and wasn't remotely prepared (boring) and a second who was obsessed with baby names. Hold up... baby names. Ahhh - my obsession. Reality TV and baby names... Tuesday night is looking a bit better.

My husband and I aren't really thinking kids yet, but for as long as I can remember I've obsessed over names. The couple last night said it was your brand. And in a way it is - think of name... any name and conjure up who goes along with that name. See. I remember a conversation in college with a guy friend who explained there were hot girl names and not hot girl names... The Bush twins were in the media a lot so he used them as an example - would you rather go on a blind date with a Jenna or a Barbara. His point was Barbara sounded like a 60 year old librarian and Jenna sounded like a fun party girl. Your name carries weight before you walk in the door... wait do I actually agree with the couple??? Well, to an extent yes.

I'll admit to scribbling names I find interesting in my journal, or Googling a meaning. I love names for their history, their ability to carry with it a persona, and for their uniqueness. I can't stand made-up names or forced misspellings but old names that have been forgotten or foreign names that haven't crossed the ocean are my particular favorites. I eagerly wait for the report on the most popular names of a year and hold my breath as I search for my coveted names. If a name I like reaches the top ten it's the kiss of death. If it's in the top hundred, I have to rethink how much I love it. Ava is a great example. I loved Ava. It reminded me of classic movies and sounded a bit softer than Audrey (another favorite) but not quite as overplayed as Eve. Alas, Ava is not meant to be - a few starlets name their baby Ava - the name cracks the top ten list and is lost forever - at least to me.

Another case in point, I obsessed over what to name our dog C. I didn't want a classic dog name - my baby girl was better than a Spot or Rover. She needed something that sounded slightly royal. A name that carried a certain amount of class and prestige. So we came up with C. And as a nod to her purely canine roots - we went with Sweetpea for her middle name. My husband keeps suggesting another dog and really wants to name it Guinness - as in the beer.... Part of me thinks its really cute and yes it's not Spot. But the other part of me, sniffs that its not C. It doesn't have the same weight to it. I think of the beer. I don't think of hundreds of years of ladies in fancy dresses and princesses and literary characters.

This couple took my mild obsession... err...curiosity... and turned it into a full blown case of OCD. They wanted a panel of experts to tell them what names they liked, they wanted focus groups, they wanted a name that said hello, I'm important but there aren't five of me in my preschool. I went to bed before I found out what they picked but I had great fun at laughing at their extreme name search. (On a side note for their daughters they read off something like 10,000 names before deciding on Ruby and Ellie... okay names in the scheme of things but not earth shattering... maybe they needed a focus group for those two). It was crazy. They flip flopped over names more than people change shows. They loved the focus group when they liked a name (Asher) and hated it when they didn't (Bode - I mean really? Is that even a name??). When I stopped watching they wanted a dinner party for their friends to discuss their name choices. I wish I had seen how that went - I know from experience with friends and family saying names you like before you have the baby is a disaster waiting to happen. One person said people gave her suggestions on how to spell the name, another said people came out and said they hated it... The best thing to do - keep it a secret and when the baby is born announce the name. Why? Because no one is going to look at a cute little newborn and say "what you named your baby Fiona? I hate Fiona. My neighbor was named Fiona and she was a huge B. Have you ever seen Shrek? People are going to think she's an ogre..." Want me to continue? No. They'll look at the baby and go "oh isn't she the cutest little Fiona ever" in a really annoying voice people use when they coo at babies.

So... Did you watch it? What did you think? Would you be down for an extreme baby name search? And since I've rambled enough (had to make up for not posting in forever)... I'm off to read. I need a slightly more intelligent choice of how to spend my evening and I've already been to the gym.