Get me to the church on time...

So on the way home I caught a radio host chatting about how Jennifer Love Hewitt has apparently pre-selected her engagement ring. Since I haven't followed her since Party of Five and even then followed her would be complaining about her annoying character... I had to Google search the story. Read here. I guess this was big news because I saw it later on Tyler Durden and Perez but I skim both if it's about celebrities I don't really care about so I missed it... If you don't want to read - the jist is she went to Tiffany's and picked out three engagement rings for her future hubby-to-be to select from. (note: article doesn't say Tiffany's but the radio did and I can't see the girl driving to the mall and going to Kay... so let's just go with it).

The radio was taking call-ins about it and if it hadn't been snowing like crazy I probably would have called up... in any case - I have the blog.

You have to hand it to her - she has a point. She knows what she wants and she's not afraid to ask for it. And to be honest, what girl hasn't dropped hints about her dream ring. I gushed about Cushion and Asscher cut diamonds for years before I got engaged. I even went as far as to say I didn't want typical solitare - something different but with a classic updated antique look. Let's just say K paid attention. And to be honest no girl wants to get stuck with a dreadful heart cut diamond (sorry but they are the worse). And if all you wear is white gold you don't want yellow gold. So you need to drop a few hints. But there's a difference between hints and downright demanding. The thing is picking out three rings and then announcing to the world that's what you did just screams high-maintenance bitch and desperate.

I'm almost thirty (yikes - and by almost I have a few years ... let's just say I have over a year), so I've been around the block when it comes to weddings. I've been married almost three years (time flies), I've been with my husband a decade (even scarier) and I've had my share of friends tie the knot... or almost get there. I think JLH is missing the point of a relationship. It's not about the ring. It's not even about that one crazy special day. Or the dress. Or the presents... Or basically any of the nonsense that leads up to the wedding.

It's about what that day means. You're starting a life together and it doesn't matter if the ring came from Target or Tiffany's, if you got married in a barn or a $500 a plate country club. I say all the time one of the hands down most gorgeous dresses I've seen on a bride was a $99 David's Bridal number (actually in my head she's been my wedding standard for absolutely stunning overall look). You can snub you nose at it and flick through bridal magazines in hopes of that $10,000 dress that will give you the body of a model but when it comes down to it - it's not what you pay or how you celebrate. It's what goes forth after all the congratulations has died down.

Maybe the world has JLH wrong, maybe she does really want love. But throwing yourself to the media wolves isn't helping your case. It totally feeds into all the wedding shows on TV - bitchy brides, harrassed bridesmaids, over-the-top parties.... I want to yell at all of them. It's one day. You'll wear that dress for a few hours. No one will remember in a year that you had some fancy-smancy hor d'eouvre that costs $20 a piece. Your friends aren't comparing you to anyone else (well I might be sizing up your dress choices but ugly dresses come in all price points ladies). And to tell the truth for all the build up - it flies by. Every minute is a blink of the eye and by that point you're so ready to just be done with all the planning, you simply forget some of what happened. I couldn't tell you what songs played at the reception. If I think about it I might be able to tell you what we ate. It's not worth working yourself up over it or trying to compete with the magazines. Lord knows I'm a magazine guru but even I know that they're designed to sell merchandise and bridal mags are no exception. They're in the business to push over the top weddings and receptions, expensive dresses, and expensive rings.

Take a step back and just think - is this important when it's all over? Honestly, it's not. (Note: I'm not saying your wedding and ring should look like you got it at the Dollar Store ... I'm just saying get some perspective). Don't demand a certain ring - it's tacky. The ring should be something he picks for you because he knows you'll love it - not because he's afraid you'll say no unless it's a flawless Princess cut diamond. Don't get so caught up in wedding plans - like making sure your flowers are absolutely exactly what you want, that you loose site of the fact it's a ceremony to mark the start of something hopefully wonderful. If you focus on why you're getting married and not on the material things your prospective changes - I think for the better.

And a note on the flowers: I had said I wanted all shades of purples - ranging from blue-purple to light purple to dark purple with my flowers having a few pink roses (my fav rose). I also said something natural - like it had just come from a garden. Well let's just say the flowers weren't all shades of purple, there were blues and pinks and greens and I think white in all the bouquets... but they did look like they had stepped out of a garden (I said I wanted up-scale garden party as the "theme" - low-key but nice)... and they were absolutely gorgeous. Sometimes you just have to leave it to the pros and just relax. That is my number one advice for all prospective and future brides. Stop stressing over what you have to have for your wedding and just go with it. And don't read those stupid to-do list or they'll have you running around like a chicken with your head cut off. Ask your mom or a friend whose been there and done that and the rest will fall into place... and if it doesn't - no one will ever know.

So what do you think? Would you pick out rings for your groom-to-be?

A Little Inspiration To Keep Working Out...

She looks amazing. If I can look half that good by June than I'll be impressed with myself.

Resolutions... Errr A Challenge

I don’t do resolutions. The few times I’ve tried I break them. I make it a few weeks doing something crazy like eating only carrots or exercising three hours a day and then I crack and go on a chips and salsa/pizza binge and don’t see a treadmill for months. Not healthy. I’m not good at people telling me what to do. I can’t do crazy diets or exercise plans because I get bored, don’t see results or can’t see the point in limiting my dairy intake when it’s my most favorite thing in the world. (I could live on cheese and milk.)

This year, I’ve decided to try something new. A resolution of sorts – if you will. I’ve made it a competition with myself to see if I can get in amazing shape by the end of the year. (I’m almost 30 – it’s now or never.) I’ve even decided I want Jennifer Aniston’s body – toned but not crazy muscular or skinny. I used to want Britney Spears’ abs circa the MTV performance with the snake… but that’s unrealistic because a. I don’t have five hours a day to do abs workouts and b. I can’t eat just celery for the next 12 months. So Jennifer is a stretch but not completely out in left field. I could probably even pick someone more realistic like Mariah Carey when she’s skinny but let’s be honest – it should be a challenge not I can eat cake and wine all year and still look ok.

I’m good at competitions though. I turn into Monica on Friends. (A crazy psycho intent on winning.) Who I’m beating – I’m not exactly sure but in my mind all those other people at the gym are my competitors. So is the scale. Every half pound it moves down is a tiny victory. And every extra sit up is like a tiny award with a bunch of clapping. And the other day when my lungs burned and my legs ached on the treadmill, I thought to myself, shut that magazine and keep running. One more minute, then you can die…. Or at least walk and read a page of Glamour.

The one thing I’ve learned in the short week of gym visits at least once a day (I only missed 2 days since New Year’s – well technically 4 but I stayed longer the next 2 days to make it up so that does not even count…) is you have to do what works for you. I could never be that girl that runs mindlessly on the treadmill rocking out to a blasting iPod. I can’t run for hours on end. I’d die of utter boredom before my legs even gave out. I have to mix it up (and actually a friend who’s a bit of a fitness guru said interval training is the way to go). So I’ve been alternating between yoga, pilates, spin class, the bike, the treadmill and now I’m incorporating some weights. And it’s not get on the bike and pedal away like a 9 year old going around the block. I’m constantly changing my speed and incline (well incline on the treadmill). It makes it different and a little fun. Even better I let myself read during the cool down and warm up. Nothing better to motivate you than a magazine full of skinny models in fabulous clothes.

As for diet… well diet isn’t in my vocab. I can’t say no chocolate (well I could because I don’t really like chocolate) but you get the idea…. The second I say no, it’s like I have a bad case of OCD and all I can think about is eating whatever it is I’ve told myself I can’t have. So it’s everything in moderation and amping up fruits and veggies. And I’m going for more fresh. Now don’t get me wrong – I haven’t turned into one of those people that corner you and spout off about transfats and the joy of going all organic. Augh. I read the label but I’m not obsessing. And as for organic – great in theory but terrible for my wallet considering it costs twice as much as real food. I’ll just wash my vegetables and fruits and hope for the best and do organic when I can and it makes sense (Kashi is amazing). Take out and frozen/canned food is easy but not healthy. So I can have it once in awhile but no more binging on Ramen like a drunk (broke) college kid more than once a week. Maybe even once a month if I can really get motivated. I’m actually a little bit excited about all these fun recipes I can try. My friend Roe and I joke about writing a cookbook – so far I have the bread section but maybe I’ll add a healthy eating/low cal section…

So we’ll see how I do come June… or even March. But I’m excited and I think that’s key. I’ll try to keep you posted of the good, the bad and everything in between.

It's all turning grey...

This year has been a series of ups and downs. I think most years are like that. I can think of only a few where all good things happen. But mostly they are tinged with things like oh that was the year my dog died, or that my grandfather died... Even years that were good, like the year we got engaged is also marred with it being the year I got in an accident and totaled his car. So of all the good and the bad - most I'm not mentioning on here... One of the minor things was this is the year I got my first grey hair. This was made equally bad that a month or so later a twin grey hair popped up directly across from it's sibling. Not to mention, they both were smack dab in the middle of my head.

Now I take a certain pride in the fact that I don't color my hair. Everyone colors their hair and aside from a perm back in the 80's and two dye jobs (the 2nd to correct a late night bored college Wednesday) my hair is treatment free. I've never found a color (aside from C's auburn hue) that I like more than my dark brown. It's natural highlights of red and blond are prettier than anything that I've been able to achieve from a bottle. Besides do you know what kind of upkeep it takes to dye dark colored hair? I felt like roots were instantaneous.

The problem is grey hair threatens my dye free hair. And starts to beckon in a time where I'll spend hours and money trying to achieve the color I was born with and that is quickly slipping away. I guess it could be worse my whole head could be turning grey. But these two grey hairs bug me. I was drying my hair this morning and the one popped up (they are always short for some reason as if aside from being grey that can't grow in straight and long like the rest of my hair but instead have a slight curl to them and grow no more than 5 inches before stopping there like a tiny grey string). It seems to glisten in the mirror, waving slightly, like remember me? Did you forget I was still here? If I'm feeling particular angry about it or just sick of having to change up my part - I take a bottle of mascara - rub it between my fingers and attack the two strands until they are a nice shade of black (and plump too).

The thing with grey hair means I'm getting older. It's only a matter of time that I stop getting carded at bars or people start calling me ma'am in places other than the south where everyone over the age of five is a ma'am. Grey hair seemed to signify - remember you're not quite as young as you'd like to continue to believe you are. And I feel adulthood quickly sucking up any remainder of time I can call myself a young adult. So while I can't do much to ward off future grey hair (maybe keep my stress levels down - I don't know?) - I've decided to be more aggressive with my other anti-aging routines for the new year. Starting next week (because there's nothing better than procrastinating), I'm going to remember to slather my face and neck and hands twice a day (instead of once when I'm not too tired or too late) with all the anti-aging treatments I had to have last month. And the grey hairs - luckily I read something about metallic extensions being in - maybe instead of gold I'll say mine are silver? :)

It's Christmas Time...

The one upside of winter is Christmas. I'm not a cold weather girl but there's something about all the houses lit up that makes it a bit better. I'm not sure if I could get used to a warm weather Christmas - there's something a bit more magical about snow glistening as opposed to sun burnt skin glistening...

So it's Christmas Eve, there's a threat of snow (which sends everyone in an extreme panic here), the tree is up, Christmas songs are blasting, and the presents are wrapped. I'd like to say C (the puppy) is asleep with visions of sugarplums dancing in her head but she's pawing at my leg whining... I guess the concept of Santa and being good is lost on her.

This year, I've decided to host Christmas dinner. I figured there are only so many years of being a married "grown up" that you can get out of it. Besides, I've learned a surprising fact about myself - I actually don't mind cooking (it's the cleaning up I don't like... and those recipes with a thousand steps). Part of me is a bit excited. The other part of me is up here procrastinating.

So I drafted a menu on Monday. I had actually had the menu in my head for about a week - tweaking and editing before I wrote it down. I decided to go easy but fancy. No pre-made frozen things here. Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter are about the only times you can drag out all those fancy bad for you foods with tons of butter (the cake I'm making now has two sticks - yum). For all my fab food - I bought three cartons of eggs and two packs of stick butter - I felt like a mini-Paula Dean.

So my menu you ask? Ham or course. I'm not brave enough to take on a Turkey. Spinach and Rice Bake (because bake sounds better than casserole that makes my three year old self run for cover gagging), broccoli and cheese, baked pineapple, about three different kinds of dessert, humus dip (my nod to healthy), sweet potatoes (and if you think this is healthy wait til I drench it in marshmallows and cinnamon). I am cheating and bought brown and serve rolls and canned cranberry sauce (although this my next goal to conquer homemade).

My only worry (aside from any of the recipes messing up?) is that the snow will mess up the plans for everyone to come over and I'll be stuck eating side dishes for the next week and a half. Snow party anyone? You bring the wine - I'll supply the food. :)

Merry Christmas! Hope Santa is good to everyone.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Is it me or does Christmas get earlier and earlier each year? I feel like August is barely over and the stores are decking the halls with pine branches, huge red and silver balls, and lights. The promos I'm getting in the mail all scream holiday looks or holiday sale. It's only November. Not even Thanksgiving yet. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. I feel like a kid in a candy...err toy store at Christmas. I still look through the Toys R Us wish book and wish that I was five again because toys are way cooler now than anything I had. I write up Christmas wish lists and feverishly email them out to my mom hoping against hope this is the year the car with the bow will be in the driveway, or a new laptop is under the tree, or I finally get a pony... hey a girl can dream right? I love decorating, I was thinking today if it was too early to breakout the lights and start hanging garland but then remembered that pesky little Thanksgiving holiday (joking) and decided I should wait it out a week or so more. I love everything about Christmas and I think I love it most of all for all the traditions, the getting up early hoping Santa came, making orange cinnamon rolls and a huge breakfast, going to midnight Christmas Eve service, the carols, the parties, the lights... you get the picture.

But Christmas also wraps me up with anxiety. And it's because it can be so commercial. The I need to buy gifts for every person I've ever met and they better be good aspect. I'm not the type of person that can run in Macy's select five scarves of various color and call it a day. I agonize over gifts. I'll spend hours, days even, wondering if I made the right selection. Do you know how hard it is to find good gifts under $50, under $30, under $20? Pretty much impossible. And don't let those stupid magazines tell you that you're BFF wants some designer lipstick for $35. It looks impossibly cheap all wrapped up in a huge box with nothing else. I don't care if Dior is stamped all over it.

I want people to like the gifts. I want something meaningful not something that's thrown in the closet at the end of the holidays and never sees the light of day again.

This year, K is on a big kick to stop giving gifts to randoms; those people family/friends/acquaintances that fall into a category of people you hardly ever see but each year you still shell out a good amount of money for gifts for them, their kids, their dogs, their mailman... ok kidding. The thing is, if I agonize about what gifts to get, I'm even worse at telling people I don't want to give them a gift. Let's face it - it's awkward. And sometimes its not that I don't want to give you a gift, it's more budget right now doesn't allow for it. Any hints for making this conversation go over better? Because I can't think of anything and believe me I practice in my car all the time. Other drives probably think I'm one of those bonkers people talk to themselves. Thank God for Bluetooth - I could easily be talking to someone else for all they know.

And so, today is supposed to be my first day of Christmas shopping. My first stab at what to get people. And so far the only person I'm sure about is my dog C. She's so much easier to please, a few Greenies, a new toy and maybe a sweater and we're set. She'd be happy if I gave her a slice of cheese and called it a day. I'm debating spending the holidays shopping online - hello Amazon and Etsy. Maybe my next post will be all the fabulous things you could give someone for Christmas.... that's an idea.

So what's your take on all the gift giving? Are you the type that goes shopping Christmas Eve and hopes for the best or do you spend hours researching and planning and then stressing about what to get everyone? Good luck shopping!

Another Car Post...

This car buying thing is consuming my life right now so of course it's consuming the blog. I thought car buying might be fun - there's nothing like a new car smell, flashy accessories, and a shiny bright new car with you behind the steering wheel. The only hesitation I had was the sales people. Let's face it - car salesmen have the rep of being sleazy DBs. I'll be nice and say up front not all the ones I met were DBs but there were some in the mix.

My car buying strategy - don't bring your trade and straight up tell them you're just test driving the car but will come back if you like it. Don't talk money and leave after the test drive. You need time to think and research - don't be seduced by that new car smell and the threat that your dream car will be sold tomorrow. Cars are mass produced so even if your car sold tomorrow a new one would show up in a day or so.

But here's what I want to say to the bad car salesmen out there (all the stuff K and I have joked about):
1. Don't underestimate me. Ever see Pretty Woman? Know that scene where the saleslady won't help her because she looks like a total prostitute and then later she comes back all dressed up and looking gorgeous with a ton of shopping bags. And she says something to the effect of "big mistake, huge". I've always wanted to have one of those moments. Because let's face it we've all been mistreated by some loser out there.

I might be in a hoody and leggings looking like a broke college student but you never know what's actually in my wallet or my intentions. You might not think I know anything about how a car works, and you'd be right, but humor me and at least open the hood (out of all the dealers only one has lifted the hood). When you start to underestimate me - I think you a. don't want the sale because you're not working for it and b. you're questioning my intelligence, spending ability, and reasoning for being there. I'm not wasting my time driving to various dealers, I'm doing my research to find the best car for me, so you can at least act like you want the business.

2. Walk the line. Don't be too aggressive or too passive. This is a fine line. I want you to be professional and pushy enough but know when to back down and just listen. Don't call me 18 times for an update, or when I don't show up right at the designated time. You're not my mother and I don't owe you an explanation for my final decision. On the flip side, don't not try. If you don't try - I'm going to walk away and find someone who does want to play.

3. Know what you're talking about. Hello, I have Internet - don't tell me facts you pulled out your ass and expect me to believe you. You're trying to sell me your product. I'm going to go home and research everything you just told me and you better believe that I want to know more about your car than you do when I come back.

Funniest thing I've heard so far: "Most people pay full price for this car. There's just not a lot of room to negotiate and I don't know when we'll get more in... they are on a boat from Germany." - Stupid Salesperson.

Me - "That's funny, because your car is made in Mexico." (Simple Google search and the car's place of origin is listed on the window sticker).

So, don't quote facts that you can't back up, it's as simple as that.

4. Don't question my choices. If I'm considering two cars and tell you that, sell me on your car. What's so great about x. Don't tell me the negatives about your competition y. Why? Because I don't believe you. You're trying to sell your car. Instead tell me all the good stuff I may have missed on yours. Besides when you start spouting negatives two things happen in my head: a. I think you're questioning my decision making (bad move) and b. I start to defend your competition to defend my decision. If you make me defend the competition I'm naturally going to like it more.

That's all I have right now. I'm still in the same spot I was five days ago but am slowly coming to realize that maybe there isn't a perfect car. Maybe it's more about finding a car I can live with and hoping I can love it later.